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Joined 8 months ago
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Cake day: January 17th, 2026

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  • That diagram always annoyed me…

    The initial position come with the statement “she would shave her head”. Starting her out at a rather crazy but not very hot combination.

    Then, “she’d lose 10 pounds” where Barney draws a horizontal line to the left, which would mean that she became less crazy, but stayed equally not very hot.

    Then “stab me with a fork”, drawing a diagonal line up and to the right, which would mean that this turned her both hotter and crazier (but a bit more crazy than hot)

    Then “get a boob job”, again drawing a horizontal line to the left, meaning the stayed exactly as hot as after the fork stabbing, but somehow became much less crazy…

    So apparently:

    • losing weight makes you less crazy but doesn’t change hotness
    • stabbing people with forks is hot, but also quite crazy
    • and getting boob jobs, also makes you less crazy, but also doesn’t affect your hotness…

    I’m not here to judge anymore for thinking boob jobs make you saner… But it doesn’t quite align with the rest of Barneys views…



  • I have no idea how rare it is to find women that fit your description… But my gut feeling says that it is not as uncommon as you have been led to believe. A very common stereotype for women is to be nurturing and warm… There has got to be a reason why that stereotype exists in the first place.

    But for what it’s worth, my wife is exactly like this, except for the “baby talk” and diminutive names… Those are the two items from your list that I also don’t really enjoy, so that might just be a case of us adapting to each other’s preferences and needs. I actually also don’t like my hair being stroked… But that’s because I have psoriasis in my scalp, and stroking my hair causes it to tickle and itch.

    When I stumbled upon your post we were actually already lying in bed and I had only woken up some 10-20 minutes before, and my wife had just rolled over and wrapped herself around me as the big spoon.

    My parents were also somewhat emotionally distant. They preferred to bottle up any hard emotions instead of dealing with them. They were never abusive though.

    In the early parts of the relationship with my wife, I didn’t appreciate the affection as much, I still liked it, but couldn’t fully surrender to the feeling. However my wife started therapy to deal with her own childhood trauma and PTSD, and asked me to join to help her… This was of course a smart ploy, because she knew I also needed the therapy. Participating in the therapy made me realise how much I actually needed the therapy, and it taught me to open up to my emotions, and both receiving and giving affection. Which of course taught me to appreciate and enjoy much more of my wife’s affection.

    Every human is different, some are extremely affectionate, and some are not. Some people need a lot of affection and some need very little.

    Being honest with your self and any potential partner is absolutely a super power. You do not want to trap a person that doesn’t want to be affectionate in a relationship where they have to be. You want to find someone who either is affectionate already, or is open to being affectionate.

    And this is completely normal to expect in a good relationship, but as you say, many men have been taught that they have to hide away their emotions… But to me it seems like this stereotype is rapidly changing to allowing men to be softer, and open up about their emotions.



  • There’s plenty of reasons for that to happen, but it depends a lot on how your heat source works.

    Most regular furnaces will heat up the water quite high, and just leave it at that temperature, and as soon as the water temperature is about to drop, it starts heating again, therefore the temperature rarely changes, unless you have used up all the hot water (teenagers running long and hot showers for rather long, or just many people showering in short succession).

    But many newer smart furnaces, and especially heatpumps will change the amount of hot water available depending on demand, and even dynamic electricity costs.

    I have a modern heatpump which both controls the temperature and amount of hot water depending on usage patterns, as well at optimizing for heating up the water when the electricity is cheap. Just today electricity is 5x as expensive at 20:45 as it was at 15:00

    This means that the hot water temperature and volume can change quite significantly, depending on the time of day and the electricity cost.

    Right now I can see that my hot water is only 45.7°C/114.1°F, which fits well because no one in the house is usually showering at this time, and the hot water is only used for washing up and washing hands.

    In the morning the hot water tank will likely be around 55-60°C/131-140°F, because that’s when people are usually showering, and the electricity is usually cheaper during the night hours.

    Having a thermostatic mixer that can be set to a fixed temperature, regardless of the input hot water temperature is quite nice in this case.


  • The ones I’m talking about doesn’t just keep the pressure ratio static, they actually adapt to the temperature of the hot and cold water.

    If the hot water drops in temperature, then the output water stays at the right temperature, but the output pressure might drop, as the mixer allow more of the hot water through, and less of the cold water.

    Of course if the hot water drops below the set temperature, it can no longer maintain it’s temperature.

    And yes these are also entirely mechanical, no electronics or even electricity.


  • Are you sure about that? I don’t see any numeric temperature settings. Every thermostatic mixer I have ever seen as at least a 38°C/100°F setting.

    And also people are talking about the temperature creeping up during the shower due to the pipes heating up… That doesn’t happen on a thermostatic mixer.

    But I guess limescale could seize it up… I have just never experienced that, and the water is very hard where I live…






  • The containers in my setup are running in a Kubernetes cluster. My Kubernetes cluster consists of 3 physical servers (one old desktop computer and 2 Intel NUCs).

    On that cluster I run many different things, Jellyfin, Plex, *arr-stack, downloader, Immich, zigbee2mqtt, home-assistant, audiobookshelf, calibre-web, Forgejo, ArgoCD, Homebox, Paperless, Factorio servers, Velero, and a bunch of other stuff.

    Because I run so many different things on the same 3 physical machines, using containers, then there’s no way to split this into VLANs.

    I could make a “kubernetes” VLAN, but everything else on my network would need to be connected with it anyway. All my computers, phones and TVs need to access Kubernetes (Jellyfin), and Kubernetes need to access everything else such as EV charger, heat pump, and the power monitoring in my power meter. Therefore I need to control my networking at a different level.




  • That depends a lot on what you do with them…

    VLANs work on a layer where devices can either reach each other or they cannot.

    Let’s say you have your main desktop computer in the “main” VLAN, and your Jellyfin server in the “jellyfin” VLAN, and a third server for your home-assistant in the “home-assistant” VLAN, and finally some IOT devices in the “iot” VLAN.

    You connect the VLANs as follows:

    • “main” can reach the Internet, but you also want to access your jellyfin and home-assistant, so you connect it to those two VLANs (“jellyfin” and “home-assistant”)
    • “Jellyfin” can reach the Internet (because you want updates), but Jellyfin doesn’t need to reach anything else on your local network… However since you already connected “main”, then “jellyfin” can reach it.
    • “home-assistant” needs to reach the Internet, but also the “iot” VLAN where some of the devices it controls resides. You also already connected “main” because you wanted to access home-assistant from your computer.
    • “iot” is blocked from reaching the internet, and it’s only connected to the “home-assistant” VLAN because home-assistant needs to reach it.

    Remember that all connected VLANs much be bidirectional.

    Now someone compromises your Jellyfin. They now control and has access to everything on the Jellyfin server, but they also have network reachability to your main computer, because your “main” and “home-assistant” VLANs are connected. They can now try to exploit your main computer.

    If they are successful in exploiting your main computer, then they can use your main computer to jump to the home-assistant server because again, these two VLANs are connected. And you likely have the credentials for accessing home-assistant available on your main computer somewhere.

    Now they are on your home-assistant server, and they can now start trying to exploit your IOT devices.

    If VLANs are connected, they don’t care which direction the traffic flows.

    If you want to control traffic flow directions you need a firewall. A firewall can sit between VLANs and block traffic coming from one to other, but not the other to the one.



  • No, there’s never any shortcuts that doesn’t require you to fly to the other planets…

    There is autopilot, so you don’t have to fly completely manually. But you will still have to take off and land yourself. And wait while autopilot flies to the destination.

    For me, this bit became complete muscle memory, and a bit of time to reflect and contemplate what I had learned. Almost a bit meditative.

    But yeah… If it only ever felt annoying and cumbersome to you, then I can certainly see why the game wouldn’t be enjoyable.