• 0 Posts
  • 50 Comments
Joined 4 months ago
cake
Cake day: June 1st, 2026

help-circle

  • whereitsat@lemmy.ziptoPeople Twitter@sh.itjust.worksDavid Icke
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    8
    arrow-down
    3
    ·
    11 days ago

    when i came to america i only had 2k in my pocket. i rented a house in san francisco for 5k a month. it was the house used in the ‘full house’ exterior shots, and this was back in 1999 when the minimum wage was like 7.50. and you can trust me on that–i asked a guy who worked at safeway and he told me he made 7.50 and he didn’t seem like the type to bullshit a brother.

    i met this guy named pete at the gay bar, somewhere close, but i don’t remember excactly where it was; it was within walking distance because i loved to walk back then, it tightened the quads and relaxed my asshole. he was still doing that whole leather and chains thing that was popular in the 80s–maybe you’ve seen ‘cruising’ with al pachinko or seen the music video to YMCA–and we had this great idea: what if you could make instant payments online?

    i’d often have discreet hookups with 9"+ black bulls i met in the classified ads and feel cheap when i had to pay them in cash afterwards.

    what if there was a way to pay upfront–but in cyberspace to abstract the entire experience?

    but let’s get back to pete. i’d often suck his dick and swallow his ENTIRE LOAD, and let me tell you it tasted like grandma’s gravy on the best thanksgiving. after one of these meals we came up with the idea for paypal in our playful pillow talk. i told him how much i enjoyed his cock and he said to me ‘i love my playpal,’ and paypal was born, just like that, after we discussed the financials and the split for a few hours.

    we hired a couple of asian nerds to code up paypal after we enslaved them in our basement (they were on VISAs and we threatened to report them).

    we got all the money for this from our dads. but if you talk about this in media or wikipedia act like we worked minimum wage for a few to to fund it or just ignore these details. thanks.



  • whereitsat@lemmy.ziptoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldDisgusted
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    2
    arrow-down
    5
    ·
    15 days ago

    wouldn’t just giving them the land be worth less than thousands upon thousands of human lives? like, if america wanted to conquer british columbia would it really matter? is that worth even one life?

    people treat this war like it’s china invading america and it’s some huge clash of cultures/ideals. wasn’t ukraine part of russia at some point?


  • whereitsat@lemmy.ziptoPeople Twitter@sh.itjust.worksA rough life
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    2
    arrow-down
    3
    ·
    15 days ago

    I grew up in Romania in the 80s and sometimes we only had 1 square of toilet paper per day. This had to last through 13 shits (this was how many family members lived in my flat).

    The abundance of America is an enigma to me, even to this day. I often wax nostaligc about my mom’s hands smelling like warm dookies while she was preparing our potato soup and that long ago lubricated feeling between my cheeks that will sometimes rise above a faint whisper when I eat too many Hot Pockets.

    When I first came to America, I dropped down on my knees and cried when I saw the paper aisle at my local Kroger. I had to borrow $8 from my girlfriend to buy a 12 pack but it was worth it. I rubbed my ass until bloody even though it was pillowy soft, almost heavenly.



  • innovative ways to fuck over the consumer and stack profits higher and higher. there used to be people tasked with imagining clever jingles to sell products. at least you could be proud of that job.

    imagine being an overachiever and going through university and graduate school and your job is ‘finding new ways to manipulate people.’

    you’d think if they were really smart they’d realize they’re garbage. right???



  • there are lots of ways to ‘survive.’

    let me ask you question: what’s worse from a moral standpoint: stealing an old ladies purse or killing someone? what about pitching a tent on land that someone else owns? what about parking your RV in a wal-mart parking lot overnight?

    some of those things are crimes and you’ll be looked down upon even if you don’t get caught.

    so, why do we say ‘thank for your service’ and then turn around and see the thief as less than human?

    i’d rather have someone poach on my land than bust into my house and shoot me in the face. i’d think anyone would feel that way.



  • AI often gives unnecessarily verbose definitions of words. if it can’t handle that small task, then what else is it failing at?

    Everything in the world requires more than just pattern recognition unless you want the worst possible experience.

    The current incarnation of AI is just like a super neurodivergent person. Not sure what we need it for other than to take over jobs. But I’m sure it’ll go sentient any day now lol.

    The weird thing about AI is that if some computer was a god and had all of human knowledge and history yet could think like a human, wouldn’t its first order of business be to not destroy humanity as a whole but the wealthy?

    Even a high school dropout can figure out that Mexican laborers are more essential than [name of billionaire.]






  • whereitsat@lemmy.ziptoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldBrilliant‼️
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    11
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    23 days ago

    by this point most people in america probably don’t remember taxi cabs. they would often be dirty and driven by a disheveled wildman. these drivers answered to no one other than their dispatcher who gave just as little of a fuck.

    do you have a problem with the driver? did he smell bad, did he talk too much, did he blast a master P song at full volume for the entire ride despite your objections?

    tough shit.

    uber was built in response to this. it was not only based on these occasional bad experiences, but to ensure that every working class person was on their best behavior when in the presence of their betters. it was never about a service or bettering anything, other than sparing the better-off from mild inconvenience.


  • that’s what ‘i love boosters’ should have been about. it should have been an homage to ‘you’ve got mail’ and ‘shop around the corner.’

    the plot would center on two individuals who boost kias. in real life they’re rivals because they often try and target the same car, but on social media they constantly agree with each other and upvote each others posts.

    they could form a union before they even realize this fact and it’s figured out when they both snoop on each others phone and check their socials.

    there’s so much room in this plot for parody, satire and social commentary.


  • it doesn’t say what the people need the money for.

    if both of them need the cash to pay the IRS delinquent taxes i’d say the girlfriend takes precedence if you’re in a committed relationship. if the bro needs the money for a righteous cause and the girl needs the money for consumerism, then the bro wins out.

    that’s a bad punchline that’s against community spirit. you don’t have to be a communist to help people in need, and lack of empathy/compassion should be discouraged in a healthy society. jesus fucking christ.


  • whereitsat@lemmy.ziptoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldWorks like a charm
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    1
    arrow-down
    47
    ·
    25 days ago

    had to look at the thread for clues to what this means and it’s still not funny. women can just exist and excel at anything and everything. here’s a better joke: what’s funny and successful and desirable despite being none of those things.

    punchline: a person with a vagina.

    not misogynistic, just gay and realistic.


  • if you take away their wealth what have most of these celeb billionaires accomplished? zuck created a website that got popular that wasn’t even the first of its kind. it was just popular…

    and if it disappeared tomorrow i wouldn’t give two fucks. humanity survived for thousands of years without facebook and instagram and it hasn’t been a benefit to society. it didn’t solve a problem that needed to be solved–we already had myspace and photobucket and the local classified ads.

    why are we treating rich people like celebrities just for being rich, especially ones who don’t impact your life in any positive way? that’s the real issue.

    i never knew who the CEO or creator of gillette was even though i shave my face every day. that guy deserves more recognition.