Lacan said that there is no true self at the bottom; even our hidden selves that we never show anyone is a performance with an audience of one.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be

– Kurt Vonnegut

Then, maybe, you are the layer everyone sees and you’re just overthinking it. Had a friend. Always trolled everyone as a joke. Turned out he is not trolling, but an asshole. Had a friend.

I recall reading an interview with Reagan’s biographer who said he was astonished to discover that, unlike most people, Reagan’s public and private selves were identical. There simply was no inner core to uncover.