I want incredibly mundane insults like “you look like you have a terrible handshake.”

  • stopforgettingit@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    The classic:

    • You look easy to draw

    Others:

    • You are the type of person who makes the teenage cashier at Chipotle explain why guac costs extra.

    • You’re the human equivalent of a bag of salad that goes bad the day you buy it, worthless after I already spent my cash.

    • Talking to you is like using a public restroom, sometimes necessary, never pleasant and leaves me feeling a little gross after.

    • Every conversation with you has the emotional texture of a Terms and Conditions pop-up.

    • Being around you feels like watching someone try parallel park for four minutes.

    and the best I have ever hear with my own ears, which is not mundane, but is excellent when yelling at the top of your lungs so all the neighbors can hear: “You are a supercilious cunt”

    • Almacca@aussie.zone
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      6 days ago

      supercilious cunt

      Damn. I used that exact phrase in an email to my ex-wife like 15 years ago. It’s a good’n.

    • LostCarcosan@lemmy.today
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      6 days ago

      You know what, I literally just had the word supercilious pop into my head randomly like 5 minutes ago, then I realized I didn’t know what it meant. I looked it up, went “huh” and opened Lemmy. The first post I opened was this one and I come across this comment