👍Maximum Derek👍

Gasoline is also used in making cocaine. Better to smoke pot and just put errands off until tomorrow forever.

It’s bad enough I still follow one of these accounts on mastodon, I can’t have it here too. There is where I come to pretend I’m not wasting my life.

In my case, if they paid attention to my medical history it shouldn’t be much of a surprise to them, and yet it always seems to be.

Its like its the middle of winter and the forecast says its going to be sunny an relatively warm on the weekend. Then you wake up Saturday and it’s freezing rain and thunder.

Nah, just spend the week before the date going over all that stuff in your head over and over and over, making sure it basically the only thing on your mind. Practice ALL the conversations you’re going to have. over and over again.

Then when things don’t go exactly as rehearsed, panic and blurt out something stupid. If they laugh, they’re a keeper. And if they don’t leave it means they have flag color blindness.

Perfect system.

You forgot to check your voicemail and missed the message that they finally found a compatible organ donor for you. Since you didn’t respond they gave it to a racist landlord who funds a bum fighting ring instead.

I did finally clean the SIMMs out of my big box of leftover gear. If I haven’t used them this millennium, I probably won’t need them.

The board had this ability and they didn’t use until now!?

I want to see the relative percentage of morons on the road who are also driving busses to skyrocket. So same am I not!

Getting my cat an email account has really fast-tracked his business, plus I don’t have to listen to the fax machine all the time.

Poit!

They already invented this for me and aptly called it a dickey (the turtleneck variety).

This is where oauth helps. I just log in with my identity provider of choice, and no one has to know I signin there with admin/password.

10 to 2

Only boomers and hate group members are allowed in Idaho. That sign was false advertising.

I’m required to use AI at work, so I skip training and have claude burn tokens on a summary of the transcript which I won’t read. Sometimes job requirements handle each other.

You’re welcome.

(I say as if there was anything useful in any of my deleted Reddit comments)

waifu pillow and film replica swords mounted to the wall

I hate those “find every body orifice” captchas. Does an earlobe count as an ear? Does a Mercedes C-class count, since they’re exclusively driven by assholes?

Sphincter based age verification legislation is probably already working its way through several US states and Australia by now.