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Joined 3 years ago
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Cake day: June 16th, 2023

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  • pech@lemmy.worldtolinuxmemes@lemmy.worldJust Draw
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    20 days ago

    honestly, systemd isn’t that bad. I’m finishing some free labs for the CompTIA Linux+ sysadmin course and learning how to compose bash scripts into services is going to be great for my homelab.

    I completely ditched windows at home in early 2020 and used fedora until last year when I took the plunge into NixOS. I knew how to do things in Linux, but I wanted to understand the underlying system structure. NixOS helped pull back the veil a bit.





  • I feel for you friend. Ending something that’s simultaneously such a big part of your past, present and future is gut wrenching.

    My wife and I have been together for 14 years (married for 6), and I recognize a lot of what you say here with some slight differences. For the majority of our time together, mental health just wasn’t a concept she deemed important, there was no safe space for me to unpack my feelings or emotions, despite her using me as an emotional fuel supply. It was as if I was continually pouring myself into a bottomless vessel. If I spoke about things that frustrated or upset me, they were nearly always dismissed as something everyone else had to deal with or “that’s just life”.

    When our kids were 3 and 1 we had a big rupture. She became comfortable using hurtful and insulting words when she was mad at me. Nothing I seemed to do garnered any good will for me, any misstep I made was immediately turned into a conclusion about my character.

    For a year after that fight I noticed more of this ugliness until I decided I needed to leave. I had seen an attorney and had some notes in my phone. One day, she saw me reading those notes, I realized she had seen me and tried to hide it. She took the phone from my hand and saw a little of what I had written and immediately went to pieces. Suddenly she’s making claims about how much she has changed and how she’s getting better, which is hilarious because the previous weekend we had an argument where she told me gems like “fuck you”, “your eyebrows look gay” (whatever that means), and “you’re a man, nobody cares about your appearance”.

    We have been in couples therapy for 7 months and while the insults have generally stopped, the contemptuous judgements of me as a person still persist.

    I’m not looking forward to telling her I want a divorce the second time around either.

    I guess what I’m trying to say though all of this is, sometimes the one we think is “the one”, genuinely isn’t. You deserve someone who chooses you. Someone who chooses to be with you, to face life with you, to share in grief and in joy with you. You have a hard task ahead of you, but you have the strength to come out the other end intact. Things will be rough, there will be bad times, but there will be good ones as well.

    You and anyone reading this deserve to have the good things in life.