I tell unfriendly cis people I’m female but I let them mistake me for male if it benefits me (my work is managing violent behaviors so some confused patients act better if they think I’m male).

I tell friendly cis people and especially children “kinda both kinda neither.”

I tell lgbt people “what’re you the Cops?” or “that’s proprietary information and and I don’t have a copy of the NDA form on me.”

And my answer to the pronoun question is “what you call me when I’m not here is none of my business.”

I guess if I had to pick one it’d probably be ‘it’ because I’ve always wanted to be the weird side character probably something like a janitor or something except you’re not entirely sure I’m human and I show up once per book / season, easily fix exactly one (1) problem, then completely disappear again.

If you’re queer, then I’m pan

If you’re not, then I’m bi

the worst part is idek what my gender identity really is. woman is the best approximation but beyond that im too weird to fit neatly in anyones box. we’re all our own special little goblins at the end of the day.

My gender is depends who’s asking.

I’m in favor of this. It’s like explaining a highly technical job to a rank amateur. When most people pick up their car from a mechanic, they don’t want (and won’t understand) a highly detailed explanation of the issue. They just want to know if their car is okay to drive.

I am a cis male. Although seeing a Pride flag makes me happy, I don’t know what all the colors mean. I don’t know a lot about sexual identities. Feel free to dumb your sexuality down for me!